Dirty Little Secret

At the risk of revealing my inner nerd, I have a secret. Well, two secrets.
1. I still wear my retainers.
2. I have snook on my retainers.
As the daughter of a dentist, I take pride in smiling a straight, pearly grin. I haven't had the same pair since I was 16. My dad stepped on the first ones. (For the record, they were torquoise with silver glitter.) I actually had my retainers stolen out of my suitcase once flying between Syracuse and Florida. I'm not sure what sick TSA fuck brought those home as a Christmas present, but I prefer used gifts to be less, what should I say, disgusting.
That brings me to my current set of snook 'tainers. When I was choking on that goo they stick in your mouth to make impressions, the hygienist handed me a sheet to choose what color and picture I wanted. You wouldn't believe the choices; there was an entire three-ring binder filled with colors and pictures. I considered green with an alligator, but the green shades either spoke lime or army, not gator. I though about purple with a Teletubbie, but I couldn't find a Teletubbie in the book. Just when I had settled on plain royal blue, I turned to image page 17 and saw a snook. Ding, ding, ding, I'll take that one.
I'd post a picture, but that thing goes in my mouth every night, and even though I brush my teeth every night and wash the retainer every morning, that's just, what should I say, disgusting.